Saturday, March 28, 2015

Why i like trekking ?

No I won’t state in five or ten different reasons as to why I like trekking. These bullet points jotting of reasons makes one more concerned about finishing all the points rather than understanding and analyzing what’s written. So we will continue in the old school style of reasoning. Apart from the numerous numbers of valid reasons to trek, such as breaking away from the shackles of daily drudgery, finding peace and relaxing in the calmness of mountains, enjoying with family or friends, experiencing something different or connecting with the nature, there is one more reason to why some people trek. Some people trek to discover their inner selves and become better person.
To begin with, trekking is something that has no place for any competition. Who can you possibly have your competition with? Fellow trekkers, who themselves are busy admiring nature, introspecting or testing their physical and mental capabilities – even if you try and have competition with them you soon realize that you are the one who is losing on the sights of the beautiful trail and the peace of mind which brought you all the way from your comfort zone. The next contender could be the Himalayas, but I dare you not to get into competition with them. You are trekking not because you wished but because they let you. A slight change in the mood of nature and you could be caught in an avalanche, landslide, storm, flood or god knows what. Himalayas in their vastness and grandeur make you feel so small on the big scale of things. In truthfulness, the magnanimity of the Himalayas takes any form of completion out of question leaving your mind with a peace that we miss in our busy lives these days. This gives one ample amount of time to soak in the beauty of nature and introspect oneself. Removing one from the materialistic world and putting him into a world without electric, mobile or internet connections helps him to focus on the things which are of real importance to that person and which were all the while ignored in the daily hassle. Trekking eliminates the white noise by removing all the superficial worries. It is like a mirror being wiped clean to see our ignored self.
Solitude walk on frozen river .
Along with discovering oneself, Trekking puts to test one’s physical and mental endurance. Long hours of walking in the sun without a sight of the next campsite, sudden change of weather resulting in rains, snow falls, or storms, winds along with thunder and lightning hurling your tents at nights,  or hours to the summit and down without water, can break you down both physically and mentally.  Altitude too can sometimes play with your mind making you quirky or gloomy. As the quote goes, “Mountains have a way of dealing with overconfidence”.  Mountains in their fairness do justice by treating all the humans irrespective of their sizes in the same manner. Doesn’t matter if you a small lean guy or a tall well-built person you will be put to test with yourself. Do you have enough strength to carry your weight? Are your lungs strong enough to supply oxygen to your body muscles? Or Are you mentally strong enough to cope with the nature whims? Each and every of the above mentioned question here is testing you without putting you in competition with anyone. This in turn helps you improve yourself. As in the words of Edmund Hillary, “It’s not the mountains we conquer but ourselves”. Each time you go in the mountains you will return if not being a better self than at least a more informed one.
Camp on iced floor at -15 degree Celsius
“Travel isn’t always pretty. It isn’t always comfortable. Sometimes it hurts; it even breaks your heart. But that’s okay. The journey changes you-it should change you. It leaves marks on your memory, on your consciousness, on your heart, and on your body. You take something with you…Hopefully, you leave something good behind” –Anthony Bourdain
Sometimes you have to earn the water you drink
Finally, what makes trekking unique compared to any other activity is that it takes control out of our hands. We humans as a race tend to control everything around us. While in reality sometimes it makes sense to accept or adapt to changes instead of controlling them. Trekking imbibes in us the qualities of patience, understanding and acceptance. Sometimes you may have to drop the idea of reaching the summit due to heavy snow or storm while you were just a few hundred feet away from it, or you might not be able to see peaks from base camp due to bad weather in spite of several days of hardships to reach the base camp. Sometimes you just have to drop your whole plan because nature decided otherwise and enjoy whatever you can in that situation. The acute mountain sickness is another teacher who teaches patience in a hard way-you cannot gain more than certain feet in a single day because your body needs to acclimatize to changes in pressure and oxygen levels. In short, Trekking teaches you a lot of life lessons.
Snowfall ruining our practice.
To conclude, trekking is like a meditation to me. It’s what dance is to a dancer, music is to Sufi singer or spirituality is to saints-It’s a way to connect with oneself and the almighty. Once you start the trek you are lost in it so deep that you disconnect with the worldly affairs and in turn meet your better self.

P.S.  The pictures are from my own travels :)


Thursday, November 10, 2011

Experience of St.Thomas : Write Up for School Magazine

To write about my experience with St.Thomas is a difficult task,not that it lacks substance but it has too much of it and which makes it difficult to choose what to share.My experience with St.Thomas is one of the best one in my life so far.School life is one of most important phase of a person's life,it kind of shapes your future,your aspirations and your dreams and St.Thomas has pro\/ided each of those in best forms.

May be what i miss defines the best what my school has offered me.I miss being forced my mom to get up for school,going to school on my bicycle(of which brakes ne\/er worked and i ne\/er got them repaired), and no matter at what time i got ready i was always late and my bicyle entered the school premises with the first ring of school bell,used to rush to cycle stand and put my bag aside the pillar on staircase and join the line for assembly.I miss being the school prefect and slide with my school time shoes in the lobby,to make sure students mo\/e in proper line.I miss being first captain of St.Aloysis house(Blue house),to hold flag on march past.I miss praying that rain didn't stop in the morning so that we may ha\/e a rainy day off and if it rained during school time than too i prayed it didn't stopped so that i ha\/e to tie shoes with laces on each side of bicycle handle,put socks in pants and make my full pant into half so that i can ship the bicycle in the ri\/er made my rain in K'block.

I miss coming early in morning sometimes to complete my hindi and english homeworks,but still stand out of class because all other friends are out for not completing it.I miss julius caesar.I miss the chemistry labs carrying out experiments of our own,of whose results showed with different coloured strains on my apron.I miss being part of plays of my batchmates,which seemed to ha\/e same theme each time.I miss making preparations for farewell of seniors.I miss preparing for dance on "chandu k chacha" and still want to perform it once more on stage.I miss annual and sports days preparations.I miss the sound of my heartbeat and aderaline rush in my blood \/eins waiting to hear the "go" sound in a race.I miss hitting my own basket during a house basketball game.(And yes this happened).

What i miss the most is the cricket on school ground.Be it games period,after school on saturdays or any e\/enings of my school time we were always ready for a game.It was a kind of meditation and it was something that took my mind off all the things in life of all the worries,tensions and problems.I still when come to kanpur stand with my bike on the road of school with a friend and make plans of future(though success rate of all plans is less than .1% and but still ha\/e courage to make them again).Ha\/e u e\/er stood in snowfall and looked at the sky so white,and see a snow drop falling slowly onto earth in a zig-zag motion, stood at the top of a mountain peak and a take a deep breath of fresh air and shouted a name to hear a echo,or look down at the Ganges from a cliff 20 feet on which you just ha\/e to jump(And yes i ha\/e experienced them all).These all things ha\/e the same effect of peace as standing outside of school gate with my best friend and tell him of my crushes and all plans of future.

St.Thomas has offered me with the best and most cherised memories of school time and abo\/e all the friends it has gi\/en me.I can't miss without mentioning them De\/anshi,Harshit,\/ernika,\/aishali,Saurabh,Aditya,Ashu,Kratika,Rajat and Aarti,You all ha\/e made my life special and filled my life with joys.You all are integral and inseparable part of my life and life without you all is just so common :). As i always say "And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter and the sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed".You all ha\/e pro\/ided the warmth,care and lo\/e any human e\/er longed for(and yes this is the answer of philosophical question of what makes any person really happy).Thanks you St.Thomas for making them part of my life.This is the only thing i can't repay you.And i always owe you.The other things you offered me,my dreams,career and self confidence, will always represent you in me where\/er i go.Lo\/e u for being there St.Thomas!!!

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Chup Hai

In do labzo main ek aashiq ki kahani bata raha hoon......

Aankhein jo bin bole hi haal-e-dil baiyaan kar deti thi,
Aaj woh tere ashqko main chup hai....

Khwaab jinka aagaaz aur anzaam teri marzi thi,
Aaj woh tere saath k bina chup hai.....

Har din chup hai,har shaam chup hai,
teri yaad main haath ka jaam chup hai......

Kal tak jin labo par din raat tera naam tha,
Aaj woh lab sab keh kar bhi chup hai......

Saanson mein ghul kar teri jo yaad aati hai,
dil k dar par jo teri aahatein hoti hai,
Aaj sab meri bebasi par chup hai.....

Tu bhi chup hai,main bhi chup hoon,
Is kasmaksh main waqt bhi chup hai,
Socha maang loon dua main,
Par aaj to khuda bhi chup hai......

Kehte hai log deewana hai,aashiq hai,
is sachai par aaj mere alfaaz bhi chup hai....

Tere laabon ki mushkurahat,mere dil ki betabiyaan,
Mere jazbaat sab,bechain raat ki karwat main chup hai....

Tanhayi main dil chup hai,
Is khamoshi main meri khushi chup hai,
Tere ishq main meri zindagi chup hai......

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Future sneaked....

It took me sometime to find this place.So calm so beautiful,Nature being at it's best.Snow covered peaks with dint of green trees,cold breeze providing the best care with it's harshness. Now comes the moment to look down to what i have being waiting for months...the deep blue lake thousand of feet down...my god it's marvelous. Who would have been a fool enough not to open his arms and lift his chin up, take a deep breath and not wished to fall!!!

But i controlled my heart,not that i have given up the idea i came with,the urge was even more stronger than ever before,but my aching old bones needed some time,n why not i was above 70 now and it took my great effort to come here.I took out a water bottle from my bag and took a sip of it and hoped that i had not being stupid enough to leave a clue of where i have headed.Just one more rain-check as the old mind has it's whims.I have burnt all the print-outs from the net,booked tickets from a different travel agent,left my cell phone and never babbled to anyone about this place.

It's not that i have been inconsiderate enough to leave them uninformed,in fact i have written letters for everyone who meant something to me,but it's just that they are scheduled to be delivered 2 days later.Some of my loved ones are dead, some still facing the cruelties of life and some happily living.I have already made my will, divided my things to people as they deserved.Properly arranged all the my insurance papers,business papers and anything that would have been of any importance to anyone.

I don't want to waste any more time,i just need to pack all my precious stuff in an envelope which already has the address of my home.I start putting my watch,my rings into it.As i was about to put my wallet i felt a need to open it once.It had the picture of my sweetheart,she was long gone leaving me alone,but the time healed all wounds.Time is a wonderful healer I took a deep sigh and quickly closed my wallet and packed it into the envelope and sealed it.

Went to the edge of the rocky cliff and once again saw the lake, it rejuvenated me.I don't know what the people will think of me when they come to know about this incident but of what i m sure of is that i want this.Would they consider my weak or freak.who cares i don't give a damn.It's not that i m depressed or unhappy.I have lived my life to the fullest and still living it with joy.It's just that it's my life and i don't want to feel the helplessness of being old,and those who say that it's also the phase to enjoy, i don't believe them. I can't live with everyday of my being a pathetic charade.And those who will like to make me feel guilt by telling that it's god that gives or take life...man give me a break...look around you...you will see many gods around.I have intense faith in Lord shiva and that's something that made me visit banaras last month,but my faith has nothing to do with my decision.I don't want to die tragic or sudden death by an accident or disease and also as i m passionate of heights and to free fall was something i always fantasized then why not mix them both and follow ur heart.I always wanted to fly like an eagle in the blue sky breaking away all the shackles.

Time has come but not till i finish the last ritual...my last cigarette and last shot of vodka...I would like to raise a toast for myself,for living these many years...for the moments cherished and me ....just me....,for my obsessions, for my passion, for my honour, for my principles, for my stupidity ,for my idioticism , for everything i gained and everything i lost, for me the way i was.The vodka was soon in and last puff of cigarette done.I was standing on the cliff looking straight.

Now i look down,it's too deep man!!!,i can feel the adrenaline rush in my blood,the body turns cold as the blood flows through the veins,the breaths turns shorter,a silence prevails,the only thing i can hear are my heartbeats and that to too loud.I try to jump but don't feel the strength to even lift me up in the air,laughs comes from within did i just chickened out...na re...ek baar soch liya to apni bhi nahi sunta...I open my arms,take a real deep breath and try to walk till my foot fails to meet the ground.

I can feel the gravity, believe me i was as happy as newton would have been when he discovered it.Life starts flashing back from childhood memories my park my first home, my school, my college, her face ,all repeating quickly.I can see the distance decreasing really fast.In few seconds i will hit the ground,with this velocity the water will rip my body apart,the fall will soon end, but i have felt wat i always wanted to feel ...fly like an eagle...there is a smile on my face a big one and then everything ends................

Friday, January 7, 2011

khush hoon

Zindagi hai chhoti

har pal main khush hu,

office main khush hu,

ghar par khush hu,

koi bahut ziddi hai,

uski is ada par khush hoon

sar par mahal nahi,

girti diwaro k aanchal main khush hoon,

Aaj dosto ka saath nahi ,facebook

kar k khush hoon,

Koi naraz hai mujhse,

uske is nakhre par khush hoon,

jisko chahata hoon,

uski bewafai par khush hoon,

haqiqat se darr lagta hai,

khawaab main hi khush hoon,

jiske saath nahi hoon,

uski judai main khush hoon,

kismat se jeet nahi sakta,

usse lad kar ki khush hoon,

zindagi meherbaan nahi,

uski nazarandaazi par khush hoon,

jiske liye rota hoon,

uski mushkurahat par khush hoon,

jisko paa nahi nahi sakta,

uski yaad me hi khush hoon,

khuda par bharosa hai,

uski aazmaish main hi khush hoon,

bheed ka hissa nahi,

akele hi khush hoon,

duniya jhoothi hai,

par apni sachai par khush hoon,

Girta hoon,sambhalta hoon,

isi tarah seekhne main khush hoon,

beeta hua kal ja chuka hai,uski

meethi yaadein hai unme hi khush hoon,

Aane wale pal ka pata nahi,sapno

main hi khush hoon,

Aacha laga to comment karna,

warna aise hi khush hoon......

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Reflection!!!

Both of them love me, they have been my friends since i was born, they learned as i learned ,their knowledge grew as mine grew, but soon their ways parted. I am talking of two of my friends who have always been with me in happiness,joys,laughter,sorrows,pain and loneliness.I am talking of the angel and devil in me. Whenever i look at the mirror i see reflections of 3 persons, one of me & two miniatures of me .... one wearing a white dress with halo over his head and other in full black with horns.

They both love me and want good of me, but their ways are so different , the devil protects me from getting hurt but makes me a bit selfish ,thus bringing a sense of guilty, the angel on the other hand makes me more vulnerable but brings a sense of happiness. Angel wants me to follow the principles and devil makes me manipulate them. They are always at continuous war in me.

During my childhood angel had a dominance keeping the devil suppressed, but now the devil is resuming his power quite smartly. What kept angel strong during my childhood ? The only answer i get is the "guilt feeling", the devil is now working on getting this feeling out of me. May be angel fought too much to reveal his art of war to devil. Devil knows 'it's never the sins or wrongs that kills or punishes you it's always your conscience that does the work'. The devil is making my conscience clear in every decision i take. An example of extreme state of clear conscience are terrorists ... they have no guilt feeling in killing someone which makes killing an easy process.

I don't know what would happen if the devil becomes dominant. Earlier they both used to argue at the same time and i had to choose between them, but now they have changed their tactics. Angel comes in the morning when my mind is clear of all the thoughts and the devil appears at night when i am a little tired and can easily fall for something and they try to convince me with their views. Man!! i have started to hate them, they irritate me, i just want them to leave ... i don't want black ...neither do i want white i just want other colours. I decide something in the morning and decide something else at night. I just hope either both of them leave me alone or one of them resumes the power soon............

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Life @IT-BHU

So..., soon we would be leaving BHU ,it has been a great life so far,enjoyed each n every moment @BHU , now the thought of leaving it makes me sulk into sadness, the heart has started behaving like a child who gets lured by the candy offered by his father to go out with him but he still doesn't want to leave his mother,these are the contradictory feelings of sadness for leaving the campus n excitement of starting a professional life which lures u with financial and self independence.It's not gonna be too hard a task as approx. 20 of us( n some of my gud frnds) would be moving to NCR,and i m really looking forward to it.It's got to be pretty exciting but there r some parts which are really gonna be missing and couldn't be found elsewhere.The comforting aura of the campus (i once even slept on the benches of LC at night :)), careless attitude(you don't want to go to class or lab..koi nahi proxy lag jayegi,"yaar 25 din se ek hi
jeans pehen raha hoon","3 weeks se shave nahi ki","4 months se haircut nahi hue",to me even wearing shoes now seems to be a demanding job,just walk into slippers anywhere u want),simplicity(life seems to be sophisticated in future), the exciting cricket matches(the most to be missed) n driving activa on the 3rd lane of BHU in heavy rain just to enjoy coffee at nescafe,chai-samosa at LC,chai-toast at gowdolia,"paan" at ravidas gate,saturdays parties @CB,dance n daaru parties,spending hours at ghats discussing girls , career, girls, exams, girls, cricket n again girls, the soothing air n calm water of the ganges has often provided solace to agitated soul,the Dev-Diwali of Varanasi(it's incredible, the beauty of ghats is irresistible,hope i any how do visit it every year)the peaceful ambience of VT where u can pass hours sitting, bird watching at VT(... i don't think this is gonna be missed .... jahan char yaar mil jaye ...wahi
shuru kar denge yeh to ..).

I was total whimsical here( truth is i could afford to be), most exciting being the incident wen i left the bicycle i bought in 1st year(red coloured BSA SLR) into the stands of hostel n never went back to pick it ... i was not alone in this another great pesonality Rahul pandey did the same... there was even notice from the Director's office,but look at the attitude we even ignored him..no one gives us notice.......Next was to try the german classes ...n why...interested in german or for that sake of matter in any other foreign language..no..the only reason was that the german classes were to be held in art department BHU, so it would be a VIP pass for bird-watching but bad luck there wasn't even a single good looking bird to bind our attention to the class... n
hence the 2 years diploma course was successfully completed in 1 month 17 days,the only single sentence i could learn was "Ich liebe Dich"(i love u). Now it was the time to learn guitar...guitar sounds cool but have u ever played any musical instrument other than your pen cap before ... no but it doesn't matter like every 4th guy of IT i too tried learning guitar and the only thing i could learn was how to hold guitar n 1234..4321..i also got some knowledge of chords n difficulty level of guitar( My serious advice to all beginners try learning guitar only wen u r passionate). The only feather to my cap was to taking swimming lessons,this was something i did good,but it was quite embarrassing at the pool,small kids who were half my height n 1/4 of weight did better
than me...but i can proudly say that i can survive in water till the rescue team shows up n pulls me out.Even tried to hit the gym but could only make it for a day.


It was the first time i moved out of home.It has been like a second home to me.As was said in Forest Gump "life is a box of chocolates" ,BHU gave me the best chocolates from the box.It helped me tranform from a kid to a young man who can take responsibities,it changed me from a spoonfeeded child who didn't even go for buying his own clothes to someone who can now take his decisions,it made me realise the importance of friends n family in life..when we are far
from someone we realize his/her importance better, it taught me the value of smile wat ur smile means for ur loved ones,it taught me the value of friendship how some guys from cities all around india just become inseparable,it changed me from an introvert person who didn't like attending any weddings or functions or travelling out,to someone who now likes to party n just needs a sign to start adventures.Life has always been a hard master for me,but this time the hard master brought lovely gifts for every success. The lines of the song college days "I am really gonna miss this place, i gonna miss my college days", describes the emotional state of all the hostelers n mine too.Life at BHU has been quite significant to me...Last 3 years have been the best of my life.This beautiful n careless phase of life will soon end but it promises to bring more of them.
As once a poet said "In the sweetness of friendship let there be
laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed".

I just want to wish u all best of luck for ur future endeavours and May God bless u,and i want to apologize if by chance i ever hurt you....n thank you all for being a part of my life :)